where the heck i been? ya. i been busy thats for sure. work is work, and always busy, but not why i havent been posting much, since i cant post while im at work anyway.

caring for cinnamon has taken up time. she is really doing well now, just a little thin still. she has her energy and pep back like before that mass appeared in her abdomen. but there were a couple of rough periods when she could keep food down, but not liquid. we had been giving her anti nausea meds and she was fine, we ran out, but thought she was passed it anyway. she wasnt. so this is where the time was spent, cleaning up ‘spills’. she would walk around and kind of spew the fluids. she got a little dehydrated naturally. we purchased more of the anti nausea meds, and i found a brand of canned food that has less water in the contents, and now she is doing wonderfully. she is no longer dehydrated, and starting to show more weight gain. she is back to guarding the grill, our dinner, or the bags of groceries on sunday morning. she is so funny that way …

friday i had the day off. ironically, i was the beaus birthday, and i had scheduled it off planning to surprise him. turns out he couldnt get off that day. but it worked out, because my dentists assistant had an opening to do my lips friday. so i am writing this with a swollen upper lip. i had to drive to bristow, about 35 miles from tulsa, where the school is. $150 vs $600, it was worth the trip. she gave me gas to relax me, and several blocks to numb my mouth, and then did the tattooing. i got a nice berry brown color. it will look good bare or under lipstick. only took a little over an hour. im really glad i did it. my lips will be swollen for a couple of days, and they will scab up a bit for a few days. but then the color will come back, and it will be worth the inconvenience. on the up side, i really have no pain. i felt a little bit of pain on the side of my upper lip during the tattooing, where it just didnt want to get numb. but im very good at going somewhere else when i have to endure pain. it wasnt that bad really. stinging.

the heat has been brutal this week. its been triple digit temps for five days. today the prediction is 103º or 104º. im not doing anything outside till this lets up. my garden needs my attention, but it will have to wait. the temp is supposed to drop ten degrees tomorrow, and be back down in the 90s again. the last time it was over 100º in june here was 1937. sigh. i looked up the temps in portland to compare, and they were in the 70s and 80s. why am i here again?

there was a really back wreck on one of the highways north east of here yesterday. nine people died. somehow, a semi ended up on top of two cars. they were crushed beyond belief. it was horrid. the thai restaurant we frequent usually has the TV on early in the evening, and the news was on when we went for supper. it was really a bad accident. i think this kind of heat jacks with people. i experience four near misses this week myself, each time nearly getting hit broadside. i admit i drive a little fast – not like the girls at work think i do however. but i drive extremely defensively, and i keep my eyes on the road. i dont text at all, or talk on my cell phone unless i absolutely have to, and then its on speaker. i dont let those conversations distract me from my driving. i plan ahead as i drive, and i watch the side traffic and who is coming up behind me. i expect people to do stupid things. the beau says im a natural driver, i am instinctive. true, i think. i dont have rigid rules. i feel it. i depend wholly on God too. i wouldnt be out there without Him. im not above making a mistake, and i have no control over how other people drive. i see so much that makes me cringe. i see drivers paying more attention to their passengers than to the road or the other drivers. i see drivers rigidly looking straight ahead, and driving as if theyre afraid to look around. i see competitive drivers who have to be first. i see oblivious drivers who pay no mind to other drivers. that is in addition to the drivers on cell phones, and the drivers who simply dont act like they know how to drive, what the rules are, or how to operate their signals. its a crazy world out there on the roads. add triple digit heat, and its no surprise accidents happen. its worse than rain.

im sorry to hear about the recent celebrities that have died recently. but i am getting tired of hearing about them now. especially one whose death the media seems to be eclipsing everything else with. was he really more important than anyone else who had died recently? only more well known. sigh.

cinnamon is starting to do better. wednesday will be two weeks since her surgery to remove what turned out to be a leiomyoma – a smooth muscle tumor – from her stomach. the surgeon told me how this one had a large base, and was partly in her stomach, and he removed about 25% of her stomach. he then sewed it back together, and reattached the small intestine. feeding her since then has been a trial, to be sure. she did really well with canned dog food before the surgery, when i first started feeding her small meals more often. but she seemed still thin, so we switched from chicken to turkey, which seemed better. after the surgery, i resumed with small meals, and we tried baby food as well to make it easy on her. after a week she started tossing everything she ate. then she began to refuse everything – the canned turkey dog food, the turkey baby food, the dry regular food, and even the occasional cat food treat. she didnt refuse ice cream or yogurt, so we knew she still wanted to eat. yesterday the beau said he was going to get her some steak with fat, and grill it and cut it into small bites, knowing she will not refuse that. this gave me an idea. i had some canned chicken on hand, which i offered her in small amounts, and she scarfed it up without tossing it again later. sigh of relief! its something, and she is keeping it down. what a challenge this has been.

the weather has turned hot now. we had a neighborhood garage sale yesterday, which we took part in, and got rid of some things we had long been wanting to part with. actually, we sold most of what we had put out, and made almost $200 as well. the rest will go to the animal aid thrift store near here.

next friday i have a dental appointment to be assessed for cleaning. sigh. but the dental tech is learning cosmetic tattooing, and need a subject to a full lip fill in. i just happen to be wanting to get that done, but havent yet because it isnt cheap. the beau found this out when he went to this dentist a couple of weeks ago, the day he went to pick up cinnamon from the vet hospital. im looking forward to talking to her about this. i would like a nice berry color tattooed on my lips. lip color that never smears. yes there will be pics.

have a nice sunday  :)

being a covenant woman, i understand the value of things that are purchased with blood. therefore i do not take lightly the freedoms i have in this country. i have the freedom to live where i choose, to speak my mind, and to worship God openly. i have the freedom to get any education i can afford or qualify for. i have the freedom to pursue my interests, live in any financial status i can achieve, and choose what i do for a living. i have the freedom to complain about the things i dont like, and make a stab at changing them if i feel so inclined. i even have the freedom to leave this country, if i chose to.

the blood that purchased these freedoms, and the blood that spills to defend them, is precious to me. and the families of those who shed that blood are precious to me.

though we set one day aside to honor those beloved soldiers nationally, as the mother of a marine i remember them all year long. i remember too, those who were wounded, and those who gave their time and their sweat away from their families, suffering the horrors and rigors of war, who came home but left something of themselves behind.

i may not speak of it much, but i carry them in my heart always.

last wednesday cinnamon had surgery to remove the mass that had come up in her abdomen. it turns out it was on her stomach rather than her liver, a finding that the vets were all relieved to see. they say its much better to find a mass there rather than on one of the filtration organs. i had to take a half day vacation and drive her down to oklahoma city, about an hour and a half away. i left after dropping the beau off at work, about 545am, and got there about 730. time to find a bathroom, and take cinnamon out for some relief as well. got checked in a little after 800, and consulted with the surgeon. surgery went well, and she was taken next door to the emergency hospital for the night, for monitoring. the beau took the next two days off, and drove out to pick her up thursday afternoon. what a woozy dog. they told us she would have some nausea, and may not want to eat sometimes, for a few days.

uh huh.

im going to have to get my rug shampooer fixed, since it was damaged during the ice storm last year. i thought it would be alright in the garage, but i guess it got too cold. i always rinse it well, so i know its not clogged.

sigh.

but she is eating some. we have to watch the water intake, because she gets a big drink, and then bleah! so lots of little drinks and bites of food. today this should start abating, and she should be returning to normal. small price to pay to have our dog getting better.

speaking of price, we paid a lot for sammy over the years, during her health issues, but all in small increments. this was in three sums of

1. $480 for the initial x-rays and ultrasound
2. $1800 for the surgery
3. $850 for the balance due

yeah i know its a lot, and many people either would put the dog down, or live with it. but we had the means, since i got my first credit card ever recently, so i used it for the two larger expenses. i have no interest for the first year, so it was wonderful timing. thats just the way we are. the pets are part of our family.

yesterday was my early day off. nice way to start my long weekend. thursday morning, before he left to pick up cinnamon, the beau had a dental appointment. turns out the dental hygienist is learning to do cosmetic tattooing, and happens to need a volunteer to have the lips done. huh. i just happen to have been wanting to do that. not just the liner, but the whole lip surface. ooo what a treat! at some point i want to also get a flock of crows on my back, across my shoulders. but the lips are more important to me right now. a nice rich berry color is what i would like. and the price is right as well. *big smile*

the weather is beginning to warm up now. still, it isnt repulsively hot yet, like it usually is by now. huh. must be the global warming. all i know is im pleased with the weather so far this year, and my garden is happy.

i recently saw a dancing mockingbird again. i havent seen one doing back flips on a light pole in a long time. we had gone out for thai food, and saw one on a pole singing and flipping into the air like a gymnast. most beautiful to see. i love mockingbirds. ive seen more live wildlife this year than in previous years here. raccoons, foxes, peregrine falcons, and the turkey vultures are back where i work. being on the eighth floor affords a nice view of flying fowl in the area. there is a pair of the vultures that live somewhere near our building. theyre huge birds, and majestic in flight, even if they arent a pretty bird else wise.

well, time to get my day going. ive lolly gagged enough for one morning.

seems lately i just cant get sat down here long enough to actually compose a finished entry. if i get something started, it gets interrupted and i lose the momentum. the entry then gets deleted, or filed in drafts. going back to it can be a challenge, because i have to get the same inspiration back to finish what i was saying.

this morning i have a little time to spend here, and do some catching up.

the other girl who was renting next door moved out last week, as well. i guess she couldnt afford it by herself. miss thangs car was still in the garage, as it was mostly undrivable from a previous collision. the girl drinks, go figure. most of her other belongings were sold at other girls garage sale, so when she moved out, she asked the family across the street to keep it in their garage till some money owed was paid back, or something. i wouldnt have gotten that involved, considering the animosity between the two. yesterday miss thang came by with her pisser boyfriend to retrieve the car, and anything else she left behind. since they couldnt get into the house or the garage, she called the police. we had our windows open, since it has been so unseasonably cool out, so we could hear what she was telling the officer who responded. at some point during all this she had been in jail for five days for shoplifting. how ironic. she filed a report with the officer for her stuff, and he left. she and pisser boy left, heading for parts unknown northbound. while the beau went out to see if he could determine where they were headed, i saw the neighbor who had the car in her garage, and went over to warn her that the police were now involved. thats when i found out they werent harboring it, merely storing it. still, shes a nice neighbor, and i wanted her to know. i asked her if she wanted to drive around a bit to see if there were any of the vehicles connected to miss thang parked nearby, but we didnt see any. miss thang probably wont do anything to us, but this is our neighborhood, and we dont want anything crazy to happen either. she is the kind that i would expect to have some kind of weapon available. if not her, then her cohorts for certain. i have seen gunfire on the street i was living on, just three houses down, as people were in conflict with each other.

so much drama.

as promised, i have pictures of my garden. im pleased with it this year.

we will be taking cinnamon to oklahoma city for surgery in the next couple of weeks. the oncologist that our vet spoke with seems to think its likely not cancer, since there is no sign of it elsewhere in her body, and her blood work looked good. it needs to be removed just the same. she isnt quite as active or energetic as usual, but her appetite is as good as ever, and she is happy. she still thinks she needs to bark at every dog who violates her authority over her street. she enjoys exerting her authority.

work is the same. busy as ever.

my son and daughter in law are moving into a house, because they need the room now that sienna is walking. the marines still pay for it, so i say go for it. theyre doing well.

im so enjoying this spring. its been very cool for this time of year here. cool and rainy. no wonder my garden is so happy. my coworkers are complaining that its ‘cold’. pththth. nice to have it like this for a change, rather than in the upper 90s and humid, tornados, and all that.

so until next time …

i took cinnamon to the vet friday because she had thrown up considerably during the night. its always disconcerting to wake up to puddles of deposited pet food on the floor. especially with my long history with sick pets. the vet did an x-ray and found a mass, so we authorized an ultrasound. the mass is originating from her liver, and is about the size of a grapefruit. its taking up a lot of room. so … i cursed the growth in Jesus’ name. we are going to start her on chemotherapy as well. though its true that everything biological dies, it isnt necessary for anything to die from sickness. so i have made my stand.

saturday we went to our favorite thai restaurant for dinner, and their television was on – as it usually is early in the dinner hour. the kentucky derby was on, and we had the pleasure of watching a most emotional win. in the last half of the last quarter of the race, mine the bird came from the last place to finish first by nearly 15 lengths. it was as if the horse has warp speed as he effortlessly threaded through the pack, broke through, and left them all behind. im not one to get misty over sports, but i am fond of horses and i always favor victory. this win did move me, however, and i got chills as i watched a horse given 50-1 odds break though and win in such a stunning manner. he was truly like the wind. it was most impressive, and worth watching.

my garden is looking good, except for the empty places left where the beau dug up the hastas. i gave seven hastas to one of my coworkers, whos yard has more shady areas than mine. last year the hastas fried in the summer sun. fried hasta isnt that appealing. i bought a couple of caladiums, and i like the way they look in place of the hastas, so i plan to by more and fill up the holes. i also added pansies and coleus, whish i will get more of as well. its been very wet and rainy this spring, and all the plant life is thriving. its been a beautiful spring, even for here where it usually goes from winter directly to hot, with maybe a week of spring.

that the troublesome miss thang has moved out. the other girl doesnt ever cause problems. whether she can afford to stay or not by herself is another thing. i wouldnt mind if she did. i actually hope so.

last week at work the alarm malfunctioned, and sent the top six floors out of the building. that was fun. false alarms seem to happen more than they should, and people dont take them seriously. seems most of the people who come out of the building, both visitors and employees, mostly hang out in the main floor or just outside next to the building. if we ever get a real threat, like a fire or worse, it could get messy. foolish humans.

i will get back with pictures of my garden later this week.

there has been a lot going on of late.

i have been working on my photography. i have really begun to enjoy trying to learn to use my camera more creatively. the beau brought home a photography magazine, the premiere issue of ‘color’, just for my inspiration. they are having a contest, with various prizes among which are being featured in their magazine and getting exposure to buyers and collectors of photo art. one of my coworkers also bought two copies of a book on digital photography and gave one to me.

then one of my other coworkers has been urging me to get my poetry published. the beau has said i write like david frost, and she said so as well. wow … thats quite a compliment!

so this weekend one of my goals is to get copyrights to my works, and get published. the poetry is for fun, but i would like to make money with my camera if i can.

our neighbor to the south has recently rented his house out, having had it on the market for a year with no sale. the two girls that rented it are definitely ‘good girl – bad girl’. they are both young, around 20 yrs i think. and polar opposites. the good one has shown herself to be responsible, and desiring to conduct herself like and adult, while the other is out for a good time. we refer to her as miss thang, and she is all attitude and self will. earlier in the week miss thang had some boys over, and all had been drinking – they were sauced. one of them went out to the side of the house to talk on his cell phone, and decided to relieve himself on the side of the house. since i saw him doing this, i promptly opened the window and quite lit into him. he responded with lots of yes ma’ams, and i felt satisfied i had dealt with the issue. if the police had caught him, he would have been arrested, and subsequently labeled a sex offender for the rest of his life. i really didnt want that, but i did want to put a little fear of God in him. i then took a picture of the car the young men were driving, and the beau went out to get the tag number. thats when the other young man, a white boy trying to be a boy in the hood, came out and started getting all in the beaus face. then miss thang came out and got all in mine. ah the joys of drinking too much. all would have been well enough if they had left it alone. the final results, since miss thang would not shut up, was that i called the police, but only to file a report and have a mediary. the next day the other girl came over, apologized for things, and said she rather talk like adults. apparently they arent getting along with each other either. we both think it wont be long before miss thang is living somewhere else.

so, it has been a rather eventful few weeks. i been busy  :)

my son is currently somewhere not far from lake tahoe testing weapons for the marine corps. he said its painfully boring where hes stationed.

later …

i love the word. it has such an exotic sound. such an old world sound. though i probably wouldnt be that interested in drinking absinth, i like the nickname it has. the green fairy. something kind of magical about that.

of course i love green.

green rain

green fire

green eyes

green ice

green flowers

green tea

and trees

maybe it comes from being scots irish, but i doubt it. i think it comes from growing up among the evergreens, not far from the ocean. ah, my beloved ocean. green is such a quietly strong color.

tomorrow i will be 18, with 34 years experience. i will be 52.

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HOW TO MAKE A FLAMING B52: SHOT RECIPE
A B52 is a great shooter to drink on a winters afternoon - it warms the belly and puts fire in your heart! This shot is very easy to make once you learn how to properly layer the liquids.
B52 Shot Ingredients
- 10 ml Kahlua coffee liqueur
- 10 ml Irish cream liqueur
- 10 ml Grand Marnier
- Layer in the order given in shot glass.
Step 1
Pour the Kahlua into a shot glass
Step 2
Gently pour the Baileys over the back of a teaspoon to form a layer on top of the Kahlua - this is your classic B52
Step 3
To make a Flaming B52, add to the shot by pouring Grand Marnier over the back of a teaspoon to form a layer on top of the Baileys
Step 4
Turn off the lights and light the shot
Step 5
Serve immediately

52 ---

52 weeks in a year

52 cards in a deck, plus a joker

52 white keys on a piano

A comic series from DC Comics entitled 52

atomic number of tellurium

got this from kwitderber yesterday. its always good to be on ones guard about these things.

HACKER EMAIL ADDRESS, DO NOT OPEN AND DELETE

This message was passed on to me:

IF A PERSON CALLED SIMON ASHTON (SIMON_25_@HOTMAIL.CO.UK) CONTACTS YOU THROUGH EMAIL DON'T ACCEPT HIM.
DELETE HIM BECAUSE HE IS A HACKER!!
TELL EVERYONE ON YOUR LIST BECAUSE IF SOMEBODY ON YOUR LIST ADDS HIM THEN YOU WILL GET HIM ON YOUR LIST. HE WILL FIGURE OUT YOUR ID COMPUTER ADDRESS, SO COPY AND PASTE THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE AND FAST BECAUSE IF HE HACKS THEIR EMAIL HE HACKS YOUR MAIL TOO!!!!!....

its that time again ... 

Report: Tornado kills 15 in Oklahoma - Weather- msnbc.com

roy fits in pretty well. he likes the cats, but doesnt bother them much. he loves cinnamon, and follows her around pestering her and trying to play. he really likes a lot of attention, and wants to be in the middle of everything we're doing.

he only has one major issue. he likes to tear things up. he has plenty of toys to play with, and he doesnt seem to get bored. i had barricaded him and cinnamon in the den during the day while we were at work, and cinnamon still got out and urinated on the floor after the postman had been there. roy did ok. so when we went to a movie one saturday, i made a better barricade, and cinnamon still got out, and roy emptied the contents of my little lunch bag that i keep a few things in that i like to have with me at work, that i dont want in my purse. he chewed up one of two pill bottles, but didnt ingest any. then a few nights later he tore up a couple of select books from the book shelf. both were old medical books, one was from the 1800s. the pages werent that bad, but the covers were shredded, and there are a few red stains on the carpet. the beau was not pleased. roy has also showed an interest in my shoes. so on days they cant be outside, they are both in crates, and roy is in his crate at night. perhaps we can come up with a better plan, but this will have to do for now.

the other day at work there was an escapee from the nearby mental health facility in handcuffs on the ground, surrounded by police and EMSA workers. seems he climbed into a small truck as it was going down the street toward the main road. that would not happen to me, because i drive to fast to allow access, and i keep my doors locked. no one was hurt, and he was returned to the facility. i dont know anymore about it than that.

there was a truck driver here in town whose load, some big metal thing, got snagged on a cable line. he got out of his truck, climbed up and attempted to unhook it from his load. as he did, the cable touched a close power line,and he was electrocuted. sad he didnt just call for help. now he is beyond it.

we have had in one week a range in temperatures from 16º on monday to over 75º on friday. but the wind blows on and on.

today we are going to see 'coralline' in 3D. it will be my second ever 3D movie. i went to see 'my bloody valentine' in 3D with some coworkers last month. it was fun.

that about sums up the last few weeks around here.

last week roy came to live with us.

it was saturday, and the beau was out front doing a few things around the house, and getting ready to wash out the cats litter boxes, when a big chocolate lab came up to say hello. he had a collar, and sweet golden brown eyes. and he was very interested in everything the beau was doing. the beef jerky in the open garage as well, which the beau gave him a piece of. they started getting along right off.

he hung around for two days, staying in our yard. he liked cinnamon, who he could see through the glass front door. the cats actually didnt freak out over his presence on the porch. i was trying to get over a respiratory problem, and came home from work early on monday, to be greeted by the big brown dog, still here. my neighbor across the street put him in her back yard to keep him from getting hit by a car or something, and put an ad in the paper for found dog. no one came to claim him.

so we took possession of him, and took him to the vet for shots, and got him a new collar and a crate. and named him roy.

he is a very well mannered dog, although he has a lot of energy. he likes to please, and already is crate trained, house broken (except he tried to mark the cat room), and walks well on a lead. he already sits, lays down, and stays - sort of. he learned to shake in one day. and cinnamon is showing him how to play tug. they eat together, and sleep together, although for now he sleeps in his crate. he loves the kitties, and they are tolerant of him. actually, thor is in love with him. thor always loves our dogs.

so i finally got that companion i wanted for cinnamon.

there is something psychological about new years day. realistically, its no different than the day before. but being the first day in a new calendar year gives it an almost magical quality, making it a portal into a new world. the possibilities for change, for breakthroughs, for victories, for new exploits, are endless.

this year im not making the conventional resolutions. i dont want to make a list of things i want to accomplish this year. a year can be a long time, and resolutions fade quickly as events take place. lists are lost or forgotten. or abandoned.

instead, i am focusing on who i am in Christ. there are two sides to who we are. status, or where we stand in regard to God, and identity, or who we are inside. i am a covenant woman, and a child of the Living God, with firstborn status. however that is just the beginning of it.

i desire to really see who i am. that may sound unreligious when so many preach against 'i'. but the new testament says to put on the new man, created in the image of Christ, and that requires some focus on 'i'. its kind of a paradox, because it also requires focus on Christ, since the new me is created in His image. the Lord showed me something a long time ago about mirrors, that taught me how to look at myself. sometimes i forget to do it, and thats when i lose sight. this year i am going to stare into the mirror.

1 corinthians 3:18 

But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.

what do you see when you look into a mirror? you see your reflection. you see what you look like. imagine a man blind from birth. he may have an idea from feeling what his appearance is, but he has never seen his own face. conversely, that same blind man would recognize someone he knew by their voice and their manner. the mirror of  God reflects the nature and character, rather than the external appearance. 'as beholding in a glass the glory of the Lord'. it gets really good when when you look up the meaning of glory.

so thats what im doing this year. im looking into the mirror of God.

i certainly got some nice stuff this year. the beau rather showered me with gifts. a beautiful little glass dragon to go with my growing collection, and a beanie baby zebra (the character from 'madagascar') to add to my zebra collection. a new bottle of esté lauder spellbound, my favorite and signature scent. yet another gaming system, a ninetento ds. my mother sent me a black velvet cape with a red velvet lining. and a co worker of the beaus gave us a set of mel brooks classics and a couple of games for the beaus psp. what spoils!

i always feel i little twinge when i am so blessed with things, i think of the the people i share this planet with who dont have. im not being all righteous, and i dont feel guilty for being blessed. i would just like to bring everyone into my blessed state. there is more than enough to go around, and always has been. the God who created this planet is the God of more than enough, the God of abundance.

now today we have a forecast of 71º and thunderstorms. crazy weather pattern this year. i put our turtle outside. he has been spending time in a box because the beau likes to keep a turtle in the yard during the warm months. kramer, who we had for over ten years, and who died during the ice storm last year even though he was inside in a cage, was our resident turtle before. he had such personality, and was mostly friendly. this crazy ninja turtle is a different kind, and has a cranky temperament. we still like him, but we dont try to pet his head. we like our fingers too.

so i think we will be staying in today, most likely playing video games. did i mention i got two more games for ps3? the new prince of persia, and dead space. good thing i dont have to do homework anymore. id never get it done. have to tell the teacher i lost in space, or a sand monster got it .... never mind.

and just so you know, i havent lost the meaning of Christmas just because i revel in all my stuff. quite the contrary. i revel in the abundance of blessings that are mine through the covenant i have with God. these blessings came at a high price to Him, and reach far beyond the tangible items i enjoy. they also include health, protection, peace, and joy (which is my strength). they include a security in my ultimate future as well as my temporal present. these are things that carry me through the hard times when i face trials. the stuff can come and go, and there is always more where they came from. but the intangible things i never lose, and are the reason i have access to the stuff.

now let me leave you with a thought. God has given us great prosperity as part of the covenant. but no one said you have to keep it all.